A Parade for Losing
My Brownies went 0-16 and some fans threw a big parade. 3,200 diehards showed up Saturday, January 6th in sub-zero wind chill to ironically celebrate the Cleveland Brown’s ‘perfect’ season. …
These posts were written for my old blog and are still well worth a read.
New Year’s Resolutions Never Work – Try a New Life-Lens Instead.
Many December thirty-firsts ago, my wife Gretchen and I decided to shift our yearly resolutions into a more productive direction. No more dwelling on the negative habits we disliked about…
To Give or Not To Give – Handling the Beggar Dilemma.
Sometimes people who street-beg aren’t who they say they are. A three-year-old girl holding a Toys for Tots can asked my friend Meredith for a donation at the busy CVS…
How a Gentleman reacts to Time’s choice of Person of the Year
How should a gentleman react to Time Magazine’s choice of Person of the Year? Time has named "the Silence Breakers" - women who spoke out against sexual abuse and harassment…
Introvert, Extrovert, or In Between – Which are You?
In January, a local magazine article will feature my family and my daughter hates it. The Advocate interviewed us for a series it’s doing on the Dallas Independent School District…
Thinking of You Ain’t Easy
The first guest to my daughter’s party arrived twenty-five minutes early. Seriously, Darlene? Nobody who’s ever hosted a party would do that to someone. My wife was just hopping out…
Heckling is easy – that’s why idiots do it.
Heckling is easy – that’s why idiots do it. 100% of the hecklers I encountered in my twenty-four year standup career were both drunk and ignorant. If you think about…
Don’t be a Rude Old Lottie
Nothing sweeter than watching an idiot get what they deserve. Have you seen the Alabama Crimson Tide woman who got busted last Saturday for smoking in her seat at the…
American Donut Choices
Which donut do you think of when you hear that word? Yeast-raised or cake? Ring or rectangle? Glazed or chocolate-iced? Sprinkles or chopped nuts? Jelly-filled covered in powdered sugar or…
Let it Ride?
Second City Vegas gave me $25 to gamble. They give the cash as a farewell gift whenever someone leaves the cast and insist that the actor use it only for…
Sexy Costumes are So Hack and So What?
My wife almost dumped me over a sexy Halloween costume. Gretchen was my new L.A. girlfriend back in 2002. She and her on-air partner dressed up as ‘Bedroom Mechanics’ for…
There’s the Rest of Us, Then There’s Joe Thomas
When I was 12, I wanted to play organized football but mom said no. Biggest mistake she could’ve made. If she had really wanted me not to play, she should’ve…
Fat Shaming my Dog.
I’m tired of strangers calling my dog fat. I’m not kidding, it’s the first thing people say when they meet Vincent. “Who is this chubby little boy?” asks the chubby…
The Sucker Punch Heard ‘Round the World
Throwing a sucker punch is easy, Kyle, it’s afterwards that’s tough. Have you seen the latest viral video of the 26-year-old Carolina Panther fan (CPF) named Kyle sucker punching a…
Share your song – death doesn’t wait.
Death is a frightening, unmentionable beast. It creeps quietly behind you your entire life, tiptoeing in your footsteps, waiting for you to screw up or get sick or get old. …
Hey Panini Heads, Why No Turn Signals?
“On your left with a knife.” The sous-chef wasn’t asking for permission to pass, she was just telling the other young chefs in Gordon Ramsay’s ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ that if they…
Having Trouble Letting Tom Petty Go
On July 2, 1986, I was a junior on summer break from the University of Dayton and I went to the second concert I’d ever attended. It was at the…
The BDCS STEM Grants Team
Allie Daus, Kate Dailey & Roger Palmer (not pictured: Lydia Torrez) Kate Dailey, president of Bishop Dunne Catholic School (BDCS), has always taken her school’s mission seriously. Officially, it’s…
Funeral Home and Ambulance Service
The morning of November 22, 1963, Officer JD Tippit, 39, was having coffee at the Dudley M. Hughes funeral home on Jefferson Ave. Tippit and his fellow police officers would…