You are currently viewing Stop Treating Joy Like Dessert: Why It’s Not Extra, It’s Essential

Stop Treating Joy Like Dessert: Why It’s Not Extra, It’s Essential

We’ve all done it. Tacked joy onto the end of a to-do list like a bonus prize:

  • Pay bills

  • Answer 74 emails

  • Eat shame salad

  • Collapse

  • Optional: experience joy if there’s time and no guilt attached

Look, that’s not a life strategy. That’s a hostage negotiation with your own nervous system.

We need to stop acting like joy is an indulgence—like it’s the whipped cream on top, and we’re lucky if we get a squirt. Joy is not a “treat.” Joy is fuel.

Joy isn’t selfish. Joy is strategic.

In fact, it’s so strategic I literally wrote a book about it—My Daily Joy Strategy—because after decades of mood swings, audience-pleasing, and chasing dopamine with everything but a leash, I realized this:

Prioritizing joy is not about pretending life isn’t hard.
It’s about choosing not to let the hard parts write the whole damn script.

And joy doesn’t mean blissed-out perfection either. I’m not skipping through traffic singing Enya. I’m not Instagram-level happy. I’m sweaty, sarcastic, and usually five seconds away from losing it—but I’m also aware enough to ask:

“Is this moment giving me joy or not-joy?”
Then, I adjust. That’s it. That’s the game.

Joy is your emotional WiFi signal.

You’ve got a metaphysical radio that’s always broadcasting. Whether you’re tuned in or not, it’s sending a signal—and the universe, apparently, has the hearing of a dog and the boundaries of a toddler.

You don’t fix the signal by “earning” joy like it’s a merit badge. You fix it by deciding that your joy matters. That it’s not secondary to your productivity or your people-pleasing or your guilt.

You don’t get joy after life behaves.
You get joy despite it not behaving.

So what does that look like?

  • You stop apologizing for needing joy like it’s dessert.

  • You build a damn strategy for it—one that includes joy buttons, joy declarations, and knowing when your metaphysical radio is blasting not-joy reruns at full volume.

  • You start treating joy like it’s a basic life metric. Not an accident. Not a whim. Not a treat.

You don’t “deserve” joy once you’ve survived.
You require joy in order to survive.

So go ahead: skip the salad, hug your dog, turn up the guilty-pleasure music, and say the line out loud like it’s gospel:
If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

Then get back to creating something weird and wonderful.

Because this world doesn’t need more efficient robots.
It needs more joyful weirdos with a strategy.

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